What kills me the most is how hard I've been trying with them. I have been nothing but nice since day one and they have either A. spoken down to me like I'm stupid and don't know what I'm talking about, B. I some how volunteered or gave the impression that I enjoy being teased, C. That it's funny and no hard feelings. Ok at first it was nothing personal and I brushed it off, but after almost eight months really? You would think that the person would have let off or at least attempted to communicate with me in some other way that doesn't involve making fun of me. It's beyond old and now they're kick a dead horse. The joke is long over so put a fork in it, it's done!!! I can't try anymore with this person and I'm done trying too. If the only way we can talk is by quietly bashing on each other then were doomed to end up like this.
Now if it was as easy as just separating myself from said person, I would have a long time ago. But unfortunately, I'm bond to interact with them. You see this person is related to my boyfriend, so they're not going anywhere. And I love my boyfriend, so I would like to stay together for a while with him. And there in lays the problem. What scares me is this happened before, where the family and especially the sister of my boyfriend at the time hated me. And that eventually broke us up. Now I'm so terrified that this situation is going to repeat itself. Or worse that the family member will turn everyone against me. I can't speak for this person, seeing as I thought they were decent, but I don't think that will happen. Then again, I also thought this wouldn't happen.
"Well why don't you just talk to them? Or have you told them how you feel?" Oh yea, it's no surprise that the teasing was unwelcome. They know this. I even wrote them an e-mail after this last straw, and of course, no apology, not even "I'm sorry if you feel that way but . . ." It was nothing, just one line that pretty much said "I'm right so get used to it." I can't remember the last time I was this steamed to where I couldn't get it out of my head. I'm usually over things like this pretty quick, but no. Here I am wasting half of my day rewinding and playing what they said to me.
It's funny what your minds brings up to help calm you down, or maybe it's God taking care of me, but I just remembered when I was in 6th grade at outdoor school (it's a camp that your whole class goes to for a week and learns about the environment and stuff). Anyways, it was our beach day and we had just gotten there when this kid in my class named Casey came over to me and put a dead fish that he had found on top of my head and had the rest of the class laugh at me. I got mad and threw the fish back at him, and this girl named Cynthia stepped in and said "why did you do that?!" (like I had done something wrong). I don't know what else was said, but it exploded into my first and only fist fight with anyone, ever! The counselors had to pull us apart and I ran off crying. He finally calmed me down and asked me what had happened. I told him that I had been nothing but nice to these people and they still teased me. He then said something that I forgot how important it was until just now. He said, "You don't have to like everyone".
Sometimes I forget that and how important and impossible it is. It is not possible to get along or please everyone that you know. I don't like this person, I'm not going to lie in my own blog. That is the one place where I can and am allowed be honest darn it!!! And they probably don't like me, and that's ok. We don't have to like each other, but we're putting my boyfriend in a terrible spot and I don't want that either. As of right now, nothing will and can be done but space on both our parts and I'm more than ok with that.
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