WOW, wow . . . wow

So as I was going through this jewlery catalog I just got in the mail and was browsing through the pages. I was looking at this one page and there it was. Plan as day. The EXTACT ring I had bought for and given to my ex boyfriend four days before we broke up. Oh it gets better. Not olny did he lead me on during that whole time, saying "I love you", I was the one who had to call him and ask what was going on because he was sooo distant. On top of all that, it was the day before I was due to sail out to Catalina and work for nine months at camp. REALLY?! I did not need to see that. I was happy to forget about him and all that he had done to me. I learned so much from that relationship ending and am soooo glad that we are not together anymore, but I dont need to have my past thrown into my face. And what am I supposed to do with the old promise rings I still have? I don't want them, but I don't want to get rid of them. I want to barry it somewhere where someone will find it and I'll never know and they'll be happier for it. That's what I want. I'm going to go camping and leave them there. Maybe I'll leave them at camp the next time I head out there. Now I'm with my new boyfriend of 3 and a half months and it's making me scared for our relationship, I mean none of us know the future and that could happen to us. I need to put my happiness and faith in God and myself alone. I need to think about me and not to depend on a senario that may never happen. I hate that past relationships have had this negative film now carrying over to my new boyfriend. I love him, a lot. But I also loved those guys too. Past tense here, but still it could happen again. At the end of the line, day, road, whatever I just need to be happy with me and follow God and do what I need to do. Now I'm upset and he shouldn't have that power over me. This week I get rid of the last of past relationships. I HAVE to do something with the rings, but more importantly, I give Glenn the USMC Marine sweat pants I've still had this whole time. It's time to really put it all behind me and say goodbye to them. They are part of my past now, and thats all. It's ok to let go sometimes, maybe thats my new years goal, to let go of things that Im still holding on to. I also need to treat and take care of my heart better. I need to gaurd it carefully, even though it's been given to Glenn. I just need to forget, but still remember that it could happen to us. I've been through this "He's the one" bit and have it broken apart. I don't want that. I know that God's got my back and someone amazing is going to be there for me to be with me in marrage and I'm learning what I need to learn in the relationship for a reason. Whatever happens is going to happen anyway so why stop it? I sjould just enjoy the ride and love God. That's all you really can do. Life is a journey, not a destination. You only get one life, one short time to spend on this Earth so make it count. Life is a crazy ride, and no one makes it out alive.